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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28994415">A Promise of Hope is Enough to Feel Free</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineandkoalas/pseuds/sunshineandkoalas'>sunshineandkoalas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Choking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, King Thor, Loki was Tortured, M/M, Odin is dead, Prince Loki, Sex, Thor is king, Torture, Vaginal Sex, loki has a vagina but still uses he/him pronouns, touch starved</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:27:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,658</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28994415</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineandkoalas/pseuds/sunshineandkoalas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Odin dies and Thor takes the throne. A few months into his rule he discovers that Loki isn't dead, as his father and the guard led him to believe. When Thor finds Loki, he is touch-starved and has received unrelenting torture at the hands of multiple guards, but especially a man named Ketill. Thor swears to protect Loki at all costs from now on. How far will he go to ensure Loki's safety?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki/Thor (Marvel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Until I Found Salvation in the Form of Your Grace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thor hadn’t been king for long—his father had just died a few months ago after all—so he was still catching up on Asgardian matters. Today, he’d decided to look at the log of current prisoners, even though it was already late in the evening. He had already spent a couple of hours looking at it, reading about each person and their crimes, but he swore his heart stopped when he read his brother’s name.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Loki Laufeyson</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Crime(s): treason, impersonation, manipulation, general mischief</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Sentence: Isolated imprisonment, strictly scheduled torture to remove magic</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Thor had thought Loki was dead. <em> Odin </em> had told him that Loki was dead <em> . </em> No one had told him that Loki was so close by, and his brother was probably still being mistreated under <em> his </em>rule. In no capacity could he allow that to continue. He couldn’t help but wonder how long Loki had been here in Asgard? Was he okay? What has happened to him in that time? He was barely thinking his entire way to Loki, just focused on getting to his baby brother. </p><p> </p><p><em> Nothing </em>could have prepared Thor for what he saw. His brother was crumpled on the floor of an all white cell, whimpering in pain. Thor took a few steps closer, his steps echoing through the hall. When Loki spoke, he realised that Loki couldn’t see outside the cell. He didn’t know it was Thor.</p><p> </p><p>“P-Please, don’t… don’t hurt me again. I-I’m sorry. I pr… promise I’ll be better. Please,” Loki began to sob, unaware that the person outside his cell would never, ever hurt him. Thor stepped inside the cell, but Loki didn’t look up. He just continued to cry out apologies.</p><p> </p><p>“My dear Loki, it’s okay. Calm down. It’s Thor. I’m here, brother. I will never let anyone lay a hand on you again.” Loki glanced up, but didn’t speak, his sobs turning to sniffles instead.</p><p> </p><p>Thor attempted to move closer to him, but Loki just retreated further into his body. Thor stopped, realising just how terrifyingly big he must look from Loki’s perspective. He knelt onto the floor, still quite a few feet away from his brother.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t even know you were alive. Odin told me you were dead. If I had known, I never would’ve let any of this happen. I’m so sorry, Loki.” Thor was quickly losing any sentimentality toward Odin the longer he looked at his broken brother.</p><p> </p><p>“Hurts,” Loki said, taking shaky breaths.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I look, brother? Can I approach you?” Loki nodded once, not moving from his foetal position on the cold floor.</p><p> </p><p>Thor awkwardly waddled toward Loki, not standing up all the way so that he didn’t scare Loki. He was afraid enough. Thor gently touched Loki’s leg, who flinched but settled almost immediately. Thor sat on his knees and pushed a strand of hair away from Loki’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me take you to the healers. I can tell you are in serious pain.” Loki didn’t move, so Thor started to lift him, taking him out of the cell. He shot dirty looks at every guard that he passed, impossibly angry at them all for not telling him about Loki. Loki tightly held onto Thor’s body, seemingly afraid that someone or something would take the other away. </p><p> </p><p>The healers were shocked to see the king and the prince, but rushed to inspect and help. Thor placed Loki on the table. He started backing away to get out of the healers’ way, but Loki started whining and reaching for him.</p><p> </p><p>“Please… Please don’t leave me, Thor.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am going nowhere, dear Loki. I’m right here.” Thor pressed a chaste kiss to Loki’s forehead and held his hand, while the healers moved around them. He crouched so that he was level with Loki’s face, stroking the side of his face with his free hand.</p><p> </p><p>They stayed at the healers’ for a while, both because Loki had extensive wounds but also because he was stressed about being vulnerable and outnumbered, even while Thor reassured him that everyone there was only trying to help him. Thor had to watch while tears streamed down Loki’s face when the healers began prodding him, every touch being painful. Thor just gently shushed him, rubbing his hand over Loki’s cheek. When the healers were satisfied with their treatment, they instructed Thor to take Loki to his room and bathe him, and gave Thor salves to put on Loki’s different wounds.</p><p> </p><p>Back in his room, Thor put Loki in the middle of his big four-poster bed. He quickly told Loki that he’d be right back before the younger could protest. Thor started running a bath, then attempted to search for comfortable clothes for Loki to sleep in. Loki just laid in the middle of the bed, watching Thor. He knew Loki was staring, but he didn’t mind, just continued with what he was doing and happy that Loki wasn’t crying anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Loki managed to walk to the bath himself, though he stumbled a couple times. Thor steadied him with hands on his hips. He had to help Loki take his clothes off and into the bath. Thor immediately threw Loki’s clothes away, wanting to rid any physical evidence of Loki’s unjust punishment.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you going to get in, too?” Thor’s heart broke at how small and weak Loki’s voice sounded. He slowly undressed himself and stepped into the large tub but kept distance between himself and Loki.</p><p> </p><p>“Is this helping you relax, dear brother?” Loki nodded sleepily. He reached his arms out towards Thor, inviting him closer.</p><p> </p><p>When Thor’s hands touched his, Loki leaned into it, rather than away. Thor remembered something he read, long ago now, but it had talked of touch deprivation. If Loki was touch starved, which he probably was, then the best way to treat it was to stay close to Loki and Thor was already planning to do that anyway.</p><p> </p><p>They relaxed in the warm water for a little while longer, but Thor was worried Loki would fall asleep. He moved Loki so that he was sitting in front of him and then started washing his long black hair. Loki sighed at the feeling of Thor’s hands in his hair and against his scalp. Thor rinsed Loki’s hair, then gently scrubbed his body clean, being extra careful around the numerous bruises, cuts, scrapes, and scabs that littered his brother’s pale skin. Thor didn’t spend much time on himself, just washing as fast as he could with little regard for being thorough. </p><p> </p><p>He dressed himself before Loki, letting his brother rest in the heated water for a little longer. He didn’t let Loki walk back to their bed though, thinking him too weak now that he was half asleep. Once there, Thor massaged different things over the different marks on Loki’s body. Loki only whined and sighed at the touches, but not in pain. He leaned into them with his eyes closed. The thoughts racing through Thor’s mind were anything but brotherly.</p><p> </p><p>When he was done, he dressed Loki then situated the both of them under the blankets. He waited to see if Loki was going to ask for Thor to come closer, but he instead cuddled up to Thor as much as he could. They fell asleep with Loki nuzzled into Thor’s neck, though he was sure his beard must’ve tickled Loki’s face.</p><p> </p><p>Thor woke before Loki, the early morning sunlight bleeding through the windows. Loki was still close to his body, clutching at Thor’s abdomen. Thor just held him back, not wanting to wake him up. Loki edged even closer, a small hum leaving his lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Thor?” Loki mumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, brother?”</p><p> </p><p>“Where is Odin?” Thor held Loki’s thin waist, and sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“He is dead, Loki. I am king now.” Loki nodded in understanding. A bit later, Thor spoke again.</p><p> </p><p>“Come. You must get dressed so that we can eat. You need your strength back.” Thor had sent someone to find Loki’s things, but for now, Loki would have to wear something of Thor’s. Luckily, he had some of the clothes he wore on Midgard that wouldn’t be too large on Loki’s small frame.</p><p> </p><p>Thor held Loki close all the way to the dining hall, ignoring everyone’s various reactions to them. Loki walked with his head down, as though he was in trouble. Loki sat directly next to Thor at the table, so that Thor could monitor his eating. Loki didn’t eat much, but Thor knew it was because he hadn’t been allowed much food for awhile, so he wasn’t used to eating at all. Thor encouraged him, with a gentle hand rubbing at the back of Loki’s neck.</p><p> </p><p>Once they were finished, they went together to the throne room. Thor walked forward to sit on his throne, but Loki hesitated at the base of the stairs. Thor thought it was because he was still in pain, so he carried him up them.</p><p> </p><p>“I do not belong up here. I am undeserving of this room.”</p><p> </p><p>“You belong next to me. You deserve much better than this place, but I refuse to let you out of my sight. Now, sit with me? I’m afraid there isn’t much room, so you’ll have to sit on my lap, but I will have another throne added. For you.”</p><p> </p><p>Loki curled up on Thor’s lap, comfortable and cradled. Thor’s hammer was next to them, as always. Guards started flooding in, most with looks of shock on their faces. Loki recognised many of them, some from his youth, but others from his torture. He squirmed for a moment, attempting to push himself further into Thor, who just held on tighter.</p><p> </p><p>“Shhh, it’s okay. No one will hurt you ever again. You are mine to protect,” Thor whispered in his ear. Loki watched as everyone bowed, suddenly reminded that Thor was king.</p><p> </p><p>“I wish to know <em> why </em> I was not informed of my brother’s presence in Asgard, <em> why </em> I was not informed of his ridiculous and strenuous punishment, and <em> why </em>it seems so many of you were involved without my knowledge and apparently seemed to enjoy his pain and suffering.” Loki pushed his face against Thor’s neck, trying to convey his fear of yelling. Thor apologised quietly, then looked at everyone for an answer.</p><p> </p><p>“King Odin instructed us to never tell you, Your Highness.” That answer only served to anger Thor further. He put his hand over Loki’s ear before speaking again, afraid that his tone and volume would frighten him.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> I </em> am your king now. Loki is my brother and I had a <em> right </em> to know. I will say this only once: Loki is a prince—he is <em> my </em>prince—and you all will address him as such. If any further harm comes to him, physical or otherwise, there will be dire consequences for those responsible. Now, those who were involved in his torture or have any information about it will stay, while those who were not or do not may leave.” Loki clutched Thor’s hand, moving it down to his neck, now terrified of nearly everyone in the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Wanna go. Don’t wanna be here.” Loki’s breathing was starting to speed up but Thor was quick to calm him.</p><p> </p><p>“No one will dare come up those stairs and if they try, I have Mjölnir right here. I will not hesitate to use it. I promised to protect you, my dear prince.” Thor rubbed his free hand over Loki’s hip, a soothing and steadying motion.</p><p> </p><p>“You will all transcribe a record of the torture carried out on my brother. I will ask him to verify their truths, and whether anything is missing. If anything is, those responsible will answer to it as a crime. I am aware that you were following orders, but surely even you lot can see that what Loki has been through was extreme and unnecessary. I also wish to inform you that if Loki finds your presence particularly unnerving I will be forced to remove you from the royal guard. While I respect the loyalty you showed to my father, I will not allow your presence to upset my prince. You are dismissed.” He didn’t actually plan on forcing Loki to relive every detail of his torture, but he knew he’d have to scare the guards into admitting everything somehow.</p><p> </p><p>Thor and Loki stayed in the throne room for a little while longer. Loki just breathes in Thor’s scent, having missed it. He missed many things, Thor at the top of that list. Thor just holds him, both content.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go for a walk, brother.” </p><p> </p><p>Loki learned that, although Thor was king, he had many people aiding him, even in things that Odin hadn’t had help with. Loki didn’t ask why, just watched as people came up to them, seeking an opinion. Loki just hid behind Thor during the exchanges, not fully comfortable around others yet.</p><p> </p><p>“Thor?” Loki mumbled a little while later.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, my prince?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m tired. I would like to go to bed, please.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.” Thor lifted Loki, much to his surprise, and carried him back to his room. Thor tucked him in and placed a kiss to his forehead and the tip of his nose.</p><p> </p><p>“I have other duties to attend to. I will check on you frequently, but the door will be locked. Just wait here for me, okay? I don’t want you wandering the halls alone.” Loki nodded and settled in, quickly falling asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Hush Little Baby, Don’t You Cry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Loki woke up to banging on the door, but didn’t move. Thor would have a key so it must be someone else. One of the guards that carried out his torture? Loki shook with silent sobs, afraid that the door would give, and whoever it was would kill him. The banging soon stopped, then after a few moments of silence, the lock clicked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><br/>“Loki, why are you awake? And why are you crying? What happened?” Thor rushed to his side, holding his face in his hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><br/>“There was banging on the door. I th-thought someone was going to ki-kill me. I don’t wanna d-d-die,” Loki sobbed. He watched as anger flashed over Thor’s face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I will suspend any and all of my duties that require me to leave you. Do not protest,” Thor added when Loki looked like he was going to speak, “I will find out who did this. You mean more to me than any guard. Perhaps I can leave you with Heimdall during pressing matters, hm? Is that a compromise?” Loki nodded slowly, holding Thor’s wrists to keep his hands on his face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stay… Stay with me?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, sweetheart. We need to talk about this touching thing, though, okay? I believe you are touch deprived, so the best way to remedy that is physical touch. I need to know what is and isn’t okay.” Thor laid beside Loki, holding his waist.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can touch me wherever you want. You are gentle.” Thor smiled, but knew he should push the subject.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Loki, understand that I am serious in wanting to set boundaries. I do not wish to upset you or harm you further.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I meant what I said. You can touch me anywhere. I trust you, Thor.” Loki hesitantly reached out to touch Thor’s face, his hand stopping before he made contact. He started to retract, but Thor pulled his hand to press against his cheek.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You have the same permission. Do not hesitate to reach out and touch me.” Loki barely nodded and closed his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I love y-you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, Loki. It is almost time for dinner. Are you strong enough to walk on your own or do you wish for me to carry you?” Thor’s thumb rubbed circles over Loki’s hip bone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I can walk.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dinner went well, other than Loki struggling to eat more than half his plate. Thor encouraged him just like he had at breakfast, reassuring him that he wouldn’t be upset if he didn’t finish his food. When Loki was finished, he just leaned against Thor’s side, very aware of the way the two guards were watching them. Loki couldn’t fully remember everyone involved, just the ones that were there more than a few times, but he recognised the two at the door. He just wasn’t sure if either was responsible for any of his torture.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My King, perhaps the prince would like to return to your room? I can escort him?” The voice. Loki knew that voice. He clutched Thor harder, afraid that he’d allow the guard to take him. To Loki’s relief, he declined, and the guard stepped back into place.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What about that guard’s offer made you uncomfortable? Was it that you’d have to leave me or was it something else?” They were climbing into the bath together, since the healers had instructed Thor to keep Loki’s wounds clean.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They kept me blindfolded a lot and I don’t remember most of it, but some faces, some voices, will always haunt me.” Thor tried his best to remain calm, holding Loki’s back against his chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What did… What did Ketill do to you? If you can remember and are comfortable enough to tell me.” Loki curled into Thor’s chest and took a deep breath to steady himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t remember everything. His voice and the way he sliced my arms and legs are what I remember most. He always knew exactly where to cut me so that it would hurt the most. No one else did it the same way. He made sure I was naked when he did it. I only had a blindfold and the room was always cold, even for me. It lasted so much longer with him than with anyone else. He told me over and over that no one cared how much pain I was in and that no one would save me. I deserved what they did to me and I was a disgrace to the royal family. He said the only reason he wouldn’t kill me is because he enjoyed seeing me in pain. He called me so many things, so many words and names that feel branded into my skin.” Thor held Loki close, rubbing his hands over his healing body.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He is gone. You’ll never have to be near him again. I give my word.” Thor slowly kissed his forehead a couple times. They spent the rest of their bath in relative silence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Loki laid on the bed while Thor rubbed the salves over his body, with much the same reaction as the day before. Thor had to control his impulse to kiss over each and every mark on Loki’s skin, especially with the noises of content he was making at the massaging motions of Thor’s hands. The salves were thoroughly applied, but Thor continued to rub his hands over various parts of Loki’s body, listening to the whines and purrs his brother let out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want me to continue or to allow you to sleep?” Thor spoke softly, not wanting to startle the other.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, keep going.” Loki’s voice was small and breathy and his eyes half-lidded. Words were tumbling out of Thor’s mouth before he could stop them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Does it feel good, my prince?” Loki nodded and hummed, staring up at Thor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><br/>Thor kept massaging him, for just a bit longer, then forced himself to stop. He retrieved a hair brush from the bathroom, then asked Loki to sit up so he could slowly brush through his hair. Loki had his hand positioned behind him to hold Thor’s knee, as he allowed Thor to gently tug on his hair. Thor tucked Loki in before returning the brush to the bathroom, then climbed into bed beside Loki. who cuddled into him as soon as he laid down.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Touch,” was all that came out of Loki’s mouth. Thor wrapped himself entirely around Loki, nearly crushing him against his body.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Enough?” Loki nodded and sighed contentedly. He reached a hand up to gently touch Thor’s beard, deft fingers tangling into it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They tortured me to keep me weak. I cannot use magic anymore. I have to fully heal to even practice, but I no longer possess the abilities I once had. I don’t know how long it’ll take to get them back, Thor. I don’t know if I can. I’m scared.” Loki had never been this vulnerable, not since he was a baby. Loki had always been strong, even before his magic became such a large part of him. Thor ran his hand through Loki’s still-damp hair.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There is no need to be afraid. You will heal. Then you will have all the time you need for your magic. You will relearn and reclaim everything you had. I’m sure of it, my dear Loki.” Thor stroked his head, feeling Loki’s breath on his neck.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They were both quiet for a long while. Thor thought Loki had fallen asleep when his fingers stopped moving in his beard. Thor quietly hummed an Asgardian lullaby, one that Loki had loved as a child, his hand never ceasing its movement through his brother’s hair.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, my prince.” Thor pressed a kiss to Loki’s temple, his left arm still draped across Loki’s back from its place under the younger’s body.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, my king,” Loki sleepily mumbled.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you to be asleep.” Loki softly laughed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, dear brother. However, I enjoyed the lullaby deeply. It was my favourite as a child, was it not?” Thor nodded gently, Loki’s fingers still tangled in his beard.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You asked me to sing it to you every night. And, until father made me stop, I did.” Thor still loved Odin on some level, but the crimes against Loki were not forgiven, nor would they ever be. The more Thor thought on their childhood, he noticed how deeply everyone cared for him but disregarded or even hated Loki. Except for their mother, Loki had a lonely life. Even Thor wasn’t always reliable, always bending to Odin’s will.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mother sang it to me when she could. It always sounded better sung by you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I am deeply sorry for everything that has gone wrong for you, Loki. Everything wrong that has been done to you. I understand that you, too, did many things wrong, but you did not deserve any of what has happened to you. Not your imprisonment, not your torture, and not the majority of our adolescence. You only wanted to be my equal, and no one would let you, not even me, and I am sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you are. You have proven that to me over time, Thor. There is nothing I blame you for. I blame Odin and Odin alone. He is no longer alive, so I do not have anyone to blame at all. I feel that I have paid for the things I did tenfold. I may not have had a father, but I had a wonderful mother and I have you. Do not apologise for anything that has happened in our past. You are no longer guilty of any of those things. You are no longer guilty of the evils of pride and uncontrolled wrath as you once were, of that I am sure. You are a fine king and you are a fine brother. I’d surely be dead without you or close to it.” Loki’s fingers never stopped moving, his face still flush against Thor’s neck, his breath tickling ever so slightly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Still, I am sorry for what has happened. I wish I had known of your fate, but father fed me lies. I thought you to be dead long ago. I still expect to wake up without you, as though it was a dream. A somewhat nightmarish one, perhaps, but I have dreamt of having you back since I was told you were gone. If I had known of you earlier, I would have stopped at nothing to save you. Loki, my dear prince.” Thor’s voice dropped to a whisper near the end, Loki’s name falling out of his mouth with the gentlest tone. The hand that had been in Loki’s hair moved to cover the hand in his beard, not to stop or remove it, but instead to kiss the palm. The kiss lingered and he could feel Loki’s smile against his neck. The mere thought of his brother’s smile nearly brought tears of joy to his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thor, my dear king,” Loki whispered back a few seconds later. Thor put Loki’s hand back in his beard, but didn’t return his own hand to his hair, instead placing his arm around Loki’s body to meet the other one. Their legs were tangled together, Loki’s slim ones contrasting with Thor’s muscular ones.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You should sleep.” Loki nodded in agreement, pressing his nose to Thor’s neck. He placed a single, chaste kiss to his neck, similar to the one Thor had pressed to his palm. Loki took a deep breath, breathing in the scent of Thor, the one he loved so much.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Your Touch Brought Forth An Incandescent Glow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Loki was the first to wake the next morning, startling awake from a nightmare. He quickly calmed at the feeling of Thor next to him, his hand still in the blond beard. He idly moved his fingers through it as he had been the night before. He pressed his other hand firmly against Thor’s naked chest, reminding himself that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Thor is right here</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Loki?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm?” Loki hummed, light and airy despite the nightmare he was fighting to forget.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you okay, my prince?” Loki hummed again, pressing his face ever closer, feeling the vibrations as Thor spoke.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just a nightmare. It’ll pass, as they all do.” Thor rubbed his hands over Loki’s back in comfort.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I am here, baby brother. For all things.” Thor didn’t realise his slip up until after he said it, chastising himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Loki hates being called a baby or baby brother</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Thor thought, closing his eyes in anger and disappointment in himself. He was just used to calling him that in his head, always seeing Loki as someone who needed protected.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, big brother. It feels better just to forget them.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You are not angry at me for calling you baby brother?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Thor. It used to feel demeaning, as though I was inferior, but I see now that that was not and is not your intention.” Thor sighed in relief, though Loki didn’t seem to notice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What would you like to do today?” Thor asked after a long bit of silence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I stay with you?” Thor laughed quietly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You will be staying with me for quite a while, but is there somewhere you’d like to go? The library or the garden of Idunn, perhaps? We can have a picnic.” Loki seemed pleased at the idea; Thor could feel his smile against his neck.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can we go to the lake?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, baby brother. You just can’t swim too much, should you overexert yourself. I do not wish to undo any healing that you have so far.” Loki finally sat up, his tunic falling back into place. Thor stared at his beautiful silhouette, the curtains blowing away from the archways behind him. The sunshine filtered through, illuminating Loki’s pale skin. Thor was sure he’d never seen a more beautiful being in his life.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you coming? Or do you want to continue staring at me?” Loki asked, crawling out of the large bed. Thor rolled his eyes and got up, too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Who said I was staring at you?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You are many things, brother, but subtle is not one of them.” Loki smirked at the shocked look on Thor’s face, which was quickly replaced by a look of joy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You look like </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>when you smile like that.” Thor’s voice was barely a whisper, as he stepped closer to Loki. He picked him up off the ground, surprising him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Woah, woah, put me down. All I did was smile.” Thor could hear the small giggle in his voice and despite what he said, he wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck anyway.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thor got dressed on his own in the washroom while Loki dug through the remainder of his things that the servants had found. He found what he was looking for, grateful that he still had it. He stepped behind the folding screen to change, though he knew that Thor would have to help him with the back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thor? I need your help.” Loki pulled the cloth up his body and slipped the sleeves on.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, brother?” Thor waited on the other side of the screen for Loki to emerge and when he did, Loki could tell that his breath was caught in his throat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you lace up the back?” Thor nodded dumbly, while Loki turned around. He was wearing a long emerald green dress with elbow-length sleeves, something he wasn’t allowed to wear while Odin was king. Frigga had gotten it for him with strict instructions to only wear it while alone, but because of the lacing he’d never gotten the chance. He stepped in front of the mirror when Thor was finished, and though he still looked malnourished, he was happy with how he looked. His body and face didn’t seem to scream Jötunn anymore. He was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>Loki</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You… you look beautiful, Loki.” Thor spoke as though he’d be condemned for what he’d said, but it brought tears to Loki’s eyes instead. He turned to examine the side and back, watching the way the dress dragged along the floor. A thought suddenly occurred to him, that he did not belong before and this would only solidify that fact.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have shoes to wear with this. Mother only wanted me to wear it inside. Perhaps I should take it off.” Loki moved to pull the ribbon on the back, but Thor caught his hand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t,” Thor whispered, meeting his eyes in the mirror, “We will get you shoes, but please do not remove the gown.” Loki just nodded, and stood stock still until Thor moved to find a servant out in the hall.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thor brushed Loki’s hair again, the soft strands falling prettily to frame Loki’s face. They waited for shoes. When they did arrive, Loki chose simple black flats after looking over his options. He looked in the mirror again, though he couldn’t see the shoes beneath the dress.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have something for you. Only if you want it, of course. It was our mother’s once.” Thor placed a small golden tiara on his dark hair. It simply looked like golden branches were growing out of his hair, while sprouting small white flowers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love it,” Loki breathed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He soon separates himself from the mirror, helping Thor put on his cape instead. Thor clipped a black cloak over Loki’s shoulders as well, pulling on it until it fit perfectly. He stared at Loki for a few heartbeats, just admiring the way he looked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t believe that I have ever seen something as remarkably gorgeous or angelic as you.” Loki just blushed and looked at the floor, silently disagreeing with the sentiment. Thor lifted his chin to make eye contact, however.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You have seen many charming people before me, so why am I different? How am I better when I am simply Jötunn and you are Æsir? I am not worthy of you or your praises.” He spoke the word the same way all those guards had, as if it was a slur. He was dirty and inferior, </span>
  <em>
    <span>less</span>
  </em>
  <span> than a half breed. He was never worthy of the royal family, much less Asgard. The guards had taught him that. A coward, a liar, a runt, a whore, a disgrace. The hand on his chin tightened, a serious expression settling over Thor’s face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do not call yourself that name. You are no such thing, certainly not in the way that you mean it. You are worthy. You, too, are Æsir. You belong in Asgard, you belong in this palace, and you belong next to me. You, my prince, are beautiful. You are so lovely, so charming, so radiant to look at. Whatever they said to you, whatever they did, was not right. You are so much more than what they have ever seen, as there is a side of you that only I have seen. It shines as bright as the sun, Loki, as do you. You are most definitely worthy of me and my praises; I cannot praise you enough.” The hand that had been holding his chin moved up to press against his cheek, a soft emotion covering Thor’s face now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You have talked only highly of me since you found me, brother. I assure you that I am not worthy of that.” Loki was shocked as he watched Thor kneel on the ground, now holding Loki’s hands in his.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t been king for long, but I assure you that there is no one I, as a king, would more readily bow or kneel to than you. Not as a sign of submission, as I believe us to be equals, but rather of respect and love. You are a prince, Loki. Pay no mind to what others say of that. I know who you are and what you are worthy and deserving of, it is </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>that has forgotten. It is my duty to remind you of the truth, and I will serve that duty until my dying breath if that is what it takes, I promise you.” Loki had tears in his eyes, but he bent down in front of Thor, pulling him into a hug.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, you big oaf. Do not kneel to me. It is not becoming of you.” Thor lifted them off the floor, Loki’s arms still wrapped around him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then do not kneel to me. You are my equal, baby brother.” Loki nodded, though he could still feel tears in his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They soon left for the lake, the one they had played in and around as children. Loki had fond memories here, with few terrible ones, so it was one of only a couple places that didn’t make him feel unloved. The other place was Thor’s room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thor set out their things while Loki undressed; he folded his dress neatly and put it on the picnic basket with his tiara on top. He put his shoes on the ground nearby and was already moving toward the water to swim when Thor caught his arm.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait just a moment. I do not want you alone in the water. I fear that your body is still too weak for such strenuous activity.” Loki pouted but waited for Thor.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They mostly waded through the water at first, neither really swimming. Thor became bored soon, however, and began swimming circles around Loki, who just ignored him. It wasn’t until Thor stood up behind him that he took notice of him again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you enjoying yourself, brother dear?” Loki asked with a grin, still not looking at Thor. He had now settled his arms around Loki’s waist with his chin nearly resting on Loki’s shoulder. The domesticity should have scared Loki, but it felt oddly normal and comforting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I am. Are you?” Loki could hear Thor’s slightly sped up breathing next to his ear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There is no reason not to. There are many things to enjoy about this place.” He felt Thor place his chin on his shoulder now, pulling Loki even closer to his body.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We came here often as children. When you were very small, you wandered into the water and I had to save you. You were afraid of the water after that, so I helped you learn to enjoy it again.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t remember that.” He felt Thor nod.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, you wouldn’t. I barely remember it. I know that mother was proud of me, but…” Thor trailed off, realising too late that he’d said too much.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But…?” Loki said at last, though his tone suggested he didn’t want to know the rest of the sentence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But father seemed disappointed that I had gone after you. I didn’t understand why until I grew older. I’m sorry, Loki.” Loki spun around in Thor’s arms, placing his hands on Thor’s face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do not apologise to me, Thor. No more. You are not responsible. It is no secret that Odin was less than fond of me. The only part of that story that matters to me is that you saved me, not that he wished I had drowned.” Thor held Loki’s waist and Loki held Thor’s face, both content to just be </span>
  <em>
    <span>holding </span>
  </em>
  <span>each other.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I missed you so much.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How long did you think I was dead?” Loki looked like he didn’t want to know the answer, as though it was his fault that Thor had mourned.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Two years or more. I don’t recall exactly. Do you know how long you were imprisoned?” Loki shook his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A long time.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They continued wading through the water, with Thor supporting most of Loki’s weight. There was a sound nearby, too close for comfort. Thor summoned Mjölnir, with one hand still wrapped around Loki’s waist. Ketill emerged from the woods, walking onto the path.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you here?” Thor asked, his wrath clearly evident in his voice. Loki watched as the clear blue sky turned to dark and cloudy, a storm threatening to brew.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I wish to have a reason for my termination.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you know the reason, Ketill.” Loki pressed his hands against Thor’s skin and he swore he could feel the smallest amount of magic in his fingertips. He moved his hand away, still feeling the tingling sensation, then put it back where it had been against Thor’s torso.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to hear you say it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You threaten Loki by your mere presence and I warned all of the guards that if that was the case, you’d be removed. He has told me what you did.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My king, he is the god of mischief and deceit, surely you cannot believe the words from his silver-tongue.” Loki curled his fingers into Thor, either in anger or fear, he couldn’t tell.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He is a prince, and you will address him as such. Your words only serve to further enrage me. You were removed from my guard; my reasoning for that is clear. Please, leave our presence or I will make you.” There was a crack of thunder as a final warning, </span>
  <span>but it made Loki flinch instead of Ketill.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your kingdom will never accept that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jötunn</span>
  </em>
  <span>. There is nothing in the nine realms that could make me see that </span>
  <em>
    <span>coward </span>
  </em>
  <span>as a prince.” Loki closed his eyes, ignoring the scene unfolding around him. He could feel the magic surging through Thor, so different and yet so similar to his own.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t open his eyes until he couldn’t feel the magic anymore. Other royal guards, the ones that hadn’t been involved in his torture, were collecting an unmoving Ketill from the ground. He assumed that Thor hadn’t killed him, but he couldn’t tell from this distance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Come, my dear prince, let’s get dressed and enjoy our lunch.” Loki didn’t put his dress back on yet, just curled Thor’s cape around himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nonsense. You haven’t caused me any trouble in over three years, Loki.” Thor moved closer to Loki’s shivering form, circling his arm around Loki.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can we take a nap when we finish eating?” Thor kissed his still-wet hair.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, of course. Would you like to lay out here or go back to the palace?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The palace. I don’t wish for anyone else to sneak up on us.” Thor nodded in agreement and understanding, rubbing his hand up and down Loki’s arm.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When they finished their food, Thor helped Loki slip his dress back on, lacing the back loosely so that it was comfortable. He put the tiara in the basket so that Loki didn’t have to worry about it for the time being. He clipped the black cloak around Loki’s neck, despite the younger’s protest that he was warm enough without it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their walk back up to the palace was a slow one, but the storm had cleared, so the sunshine was back. It warmed Loki’s skin, even with the cloak covering most of what the dress didn’t. They didn’t encounter many people, but the ones that they did see didn’t seem to care about what he was wearing or that he was with Thor at all. They probably didn’t want to sour Thor’s mood like it had been earlier.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Baby brother, I am not tired, but I will stay by your side while you sleep. Though, I may have to summon Heimdall later this afternoon so that I can have a couple of meetings, if that’s alright?” Loki nodded, letting Thor unlace the gown. He put the tunic that he had been wearing that morning back on and let Thor tuck him in. Thor removed most of his clothes as well.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stay until I fall asleep?” Thor knew it wouldn’t take long and he had to wait for Heimdall to arrive anyway.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be right here.” Thor laid beside him over the blankets, watching Loki move closer to his body.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I felt… I felt your magic today. It was in my hands when you had Mjölnir and summoned the storm. I haven’t felt magic in so long. I think it will be painful to relearn some of the things that I lost.” Thor held Loki’s hand to his bare chest and Loki saw the natural light drain from the room. There was lightning and thunder, then he could hear the pitter-patter of rain, but most of all, he could feel magic thrumming through Thor’s body and into his hand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you feel it now?” Loki nodded, pressing his body against Thor’s to feel as much of it as he could.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The feeling of it was almost intoxicating, especially because it was coming from Thor. He found it infinitely easier to fall asleep against Thor this way than it had been the past few nights. His eyes were closing before he could stop them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His dreams were incredibly vivid, but they were mostly flashes of emotion or a memory. Once or twice, he got a very clear flash of Thor’s body next to his own, but it was gone as fast as it came. The recurring emotion he felt was one he hadn’t felt much of, so he couldn’t place it.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Two Lovers on an Unmade Bed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When he woke up, Thor was no longer beside him, but the storm was still raging on. Heimdall was lounging on a chaise nearby with a book. He was either unaware or didn’t care that Loki had woken up. Loki didn’t know if he trusted Heimdall yet—he still grappled with his ability to trust Thor after all—so he had to control the urge to cry and beg for Thor to come back. <em> He’s busy </em>, Loki reminded himself. He dealt for what felt like hours, but it became unbearable. </p><p> </p><p>“Heimdall, where is Thor?”</p><p> </p><p>“He had a meeting with the royal guard, I believe. Why? Do you need something?” Loki shook his head, though he felt tears threaten to fall.</p><p> </p><p>“I just want Thor, but if he’s busy then it’s okay.” Loki cringed at the wobble of his voice, but Heimdall just smiled and shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I will send someone to retrieve him.”</p><p> </p><p>Thor didn’t take long to arrive and once he did, Heimdall left, leaving the two of them alone. Loki still had small tears in his eyes, a couple had fallen already, the tear tracks still shining on his face. He felt foolish for crying like a child for simply being away from Thor.</p><p> </p><p>“Was your nap a restful one, dear brother?” Thor sat next to him on the bed, but it wasn’t close enough for Loki. He didn’t want to move closer though, for fear of appearing too desperate and childish.</p><p> </p><p>“It was the best sleep I’ve had in years.” When Thor’s fingers touched his face, he could feel the magic in them. He couldn’t help but sigh and lean into them, unable to stop himself.</p><p> </p><p>“I will have to make it storm regularly then. I assume it was the magic that settled you?” Loki nodded, his eyes closed in bliss.</p><p> </p><p>“Thor,” Loki sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, baby brother?” When Loki didn’t reply, Thor removed his hands, to which Loki vocally protested, but he watched as Thor removed his clothing.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p> </p><p>“We need to take a bath and this way you can feel the magic on more of your skin. Is that okay?” Loki nodded and let Thor lift him from the bed.</p><p> </p><p>Having most of their bodies touching while the magic surged through Thor was an exhilarating experience that both stimulated and tired Loki. He was sitting on Thor’s lap in the bath, trying to understand the way Thor’s magic worked. Thor just watched while Loki’s fingers danced over various parts of his chest, arms, and even face. He laughed and gently grasped Loki’s wrist.</p><p> </p><p>“Loki, what are you doing?”</p><p> </p><p>“Trying to see if it’s stronger in some places more than others. It all feels the same. though.” Loki finally settled, leaning his head against Thor’s chest. Thor let go of his wrist, so he put it into Thor’s beard, feeling the coarse hair between his fingers.</p><p> </p><p>“I suppose you like the beard, then?” Loki rolled his eyes but nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“The hair, too,” Loki mumbled, shifting his weight. He tried to ignore their closeness.</p><p> </p><p>“Hm, you don’t think it’s too long?”</p><p> </p><p>“No. Though the braid of our hair is probably overkill.” Loki ran his fingers over the braid that Thor hadn’t yet removed.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a tradition. It made me feel close to you and I do not wish to remove that sentiment quite yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have a pendant of my symbol.” Loki hadn’t ever really liked his symbol, it was much more complicated and demeaning than Thor’s after all, but it was still a beautiful one. It was two snakes intertwined to form an ‘S’ shape while biting the other’s tail.</p><p> </p><p>“And I have one of mine.” </p><p> </p><p><em> Thor really is brainless sometimes </em>, Loki thought. He didn’t say anything else, just relaxing back into Thor’s body, still thrumming with magic.</p><p> </p><p>While Thor was gathering all the ointments and salves he was supposed to put on Loki’s healing wounds, Loki searched through his things to find his pendant. When he did, he asked Thor to sit on the bed. He presented the necklace to him, still in its box as Loki had never had the desire to wear it or give it to anyone else.</p><p> </p><p>“I want you to have this. You can wear my symbol and have it near you at all times. Only if you remove that ridiculous braid though.” Thor smiled, taking the box into his hands.</p><p> </p><p>“I will only agree if you will wear mine.” Thor placed the box onto the bed beside him and took his own pendant from the shelf of his wardrobe. He kneeled in front of Loki as he opened the box.</p><p> </p><p>“Stop kneeling.” There was no bite to Loki’s voice, but he pulled Thor up to his feet.</p><p> </p><p>“Will you wear it?” The symbol was, of course, Mjölnir. </p><p> </p><p>“The real Mjölnir does not think me worthy, so what makes you think the fake one will?” Thor knew he was joking this time, so he placed the necklace around Loki’s neck.</p><p> </p><p>“Because this one is a symbol of me, of my love, of my affection, and of my respect. You are worthy of those things, so you are worthy of my symbol.” Thor put Loki’s pendant on himself while Loki was distracted by the one around his neck.</p><p> </p><p>Thor scooped Loki up into a hug, pressing him close. Loki <em> giggled </em>. He immediately covered his mouth with his hand, but he knew Thor had heard it.</p><p> </p><p>“Did I just make the God of Mischief giggle?” Thor asked, putting Loki back on the floor. He had a smug grin on his face that Loki wanted to smack off.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> No </em>,” Loki said, backing away with his arms crossed. Thor just crowded him, the same smirk on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“I think I did. Are you still ticklish, baby brother?” Loki hated where this conversation was going. </p><p> </p><p>“No,” Loki said a little too defensively. He tried to back away from Thor again, but his legs hit the bed and he tumbled down onto it.</p><p> </p><p>“So, if I tickle you right now, you won’t laugh? Not even a little?” Thor put his knee up on the bed next to Loki’s thigh, effectively caging him in. </p><p> </p><p>“N-No.” Thor barely let him finish before he was digging his fingers into Loki’s ribs, tickling him until he was barely taking in enough air to audibly laugh. Loki wiggled around on the bed, still underneath Thor’s much larger body.</p><p> </p><p>“So, you’re not ticklish, dear brother?” Thor was still on top of him, hands on either side of Loki’s head. Loki struggled to even his breath out, staring into Thor’s too-blue eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up,” is all Loki managed to sigh out. Thor leaned down next to his ear.</p><p> </p><p>“Never,” Thor whispered, then backed away. Loki was only in underwear and a tunic, so there’s no way that Thor wouldn’t see his arousal, especially because Thor still had to put the salves on his wounds.</p><p> </p><p>Thor pulled the tunic off and over Loki’s head. He felt Thor’s calloused fingers drag over his sides, only making his horniness stronger. He squeezed his eyes shut to will it away, but with Thor’s hands returning to rub over the tender parts of his skin, he couldn’t ignore it. Thor stayed silent the whole time, even while Loki quietly whimpered and sighed at some of the touches.</p><p> </p><p>“You seem really tense, brother. Lay on your stomach?” Loki obeyed, his breath speeding up slightly. Thor began massaging Loki’s back, pressing on the knots. Loki buried his face in the pillows, trying to muffle any noises he would make. Thor’s hands trailed further down, rubbing at his lower back and then over his hips. The touch was gone too soon, but Loki knew that he couldn’t move or Thor would see how wet he is. He wished he was still in his dazed and tired phase that he’d been in earlier.</p><p> </p><p>“Come here so I can put your tunic back on you, brother mine.” Loki’s cheeks reddened and he shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“No, I’m comfortable right here.” Loki hoped it sounded normal and convincing enough that Thor wouldn’t push it. Really, he should’ve known better because his brother was a stubborn oaf of a man.</p><p> </p><p>“It gets cold at night, Loki. Come here.” Thor pulled Loki up onto his knees and over near the edge of the bed. He didn’t look down, just manhandled the tunic onto Loki’s lithe frame.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to be so rough, dear brother,” Loki pouted. Thor just chuckled and rubbed his hands over Loki’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>“You could have just listened,” Thor said, backing away to put the ointments back in the bathroom. Loki didn’t move from his position on his knees at the edge of the bed.</p><p> </p><p>“Thor,” Loki whined.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, brother mine?” Thor asked, walking back into their room.</p><p> </p><p>“Touch.” Thor fondly shook his head but came to stand in front of Loki. He placed his hands on Loki’s face, making the latter close his eyes in contentment. Loki wrapped his hands around Thor’s wrists, pulling ever so gently. Thor took the hint and moved his hands down to rest on the sides of Loki’s neck. Loki opened his eyes, looking up at Thor.</p><p> </p><p><em> The look in his eyes should be illegal </em>, Thor thought. He studied the sea glass green of Loki’s eyes, trying to distract himself from the expression displayed in them. Loki tilted his head though, burying his face into Thor’s left hand while the right stayed on his neck. His eyes fluttered shut a second time, which is when Thor remembered that Loki could feel the magic coursing through his body. After a moment, both of Thor’s hands were against Loki’s neck again.</p><p> </p><p>“Press harder.” Loki’s voice was barely a whisper, as though he didn’t want to ask. A few heartbeats passed, Thor trying to figure out Loki’s motives. He wanted to ask why. He wanted to tell him that he didn’t wish to hurt him. He wanted to do so many things at once.</p><p> </p><p>“How hard?” is what passed his lips instead.</p><p> </p><p>“Just enough to feel it. Please.” Thor nodded once, pressing his fingers into the sides of Loki’s neck, making him sigh deeply.</p><p> </p><p>“Is this enough?” </p><p> </p><p>Loki whispered a yes, his hands now resting in his lap. Thor released a second later, knowing what pressing the sides of Loki’s neck did. He was dulling Loki’s senses by slowing blood flow. Loki’s eyes were beyond calm when they met Thor’s, signalling his need to be hurt in the gentlest way possible.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you need more or are you relaxed enough to sleep now?” Thor looked at Loki with the sweetest expression that he’d ever seen on his brother.</p><p> </p><p>“Sleep,” Loki mumbled. He nuzzled into Thor’s hands, pulling them away from his neck. The arousal he had felt earlier had subsided, though he figured it would become a problem again tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>“Then lay down, baby brother.” Thor almost forgot to say ‘brother,’ secretly wanting to just call Loki ‘baby.’</p><p> </p><p>They laid beside each other, but Loki must have decided that wasn’t enough because he climbed on top of Thor and laid his body over his big brother’s. He pressed his head against Thor’s chest, just listening to the heartbeat and fooling himself into thinking that it beat for <em> him </em>.</p><p> </p><p>Thor ran his fingers through Loki’s hair, then started humming Loki’s favourite lullaby. Loki traced his fingertips over Thor’s chest, just listening to Thor hum. He doesn’t know when he fell asleep, but he knows Thor was still humming when he did.</p><p> </p><p>Loki was back in his cell, laying alone on the floor. He was the coldest he’s been in days, so accustomed to Thor’s warm, sun-kissed body next to his at all times. As Loki sat up, he realised he <em> wasn’t </em>alone. Ketill was leaning against the wall, seemingly waiting for Loki to stir. He felt his breath catch in his throat and tears in his eyes, terror filling all his senses as he realised what was about to happen.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you really think he’d keep you outside your cell? Like a pet? As if you’re really a prince. You know what you are, <em> Jötunn </em>.” Ketill spit the word like it was poison. He advanced on Loki, who moved backward as fast as he could until his back hit the wall.</p><p> </p><p>“Please… Please, don’t hurt m-me again.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know you deserve it. You’re a traitor of Asgard. Unless you’d like to go to Jötunheimr? They’ll surely kill you the second they see your face, runt.” Loki hurriedly shook his head, flinching when Ketill reached his hand out to grip Loki’s hair.</p><p> </p><p>“I… I’m sorry,” Loki whimpered, not knowing what else to say. Ketill just yanked his hair, making Loki tilt his head back.</p><p> </p><p>Ketill continued to throw words at him, tell him how terrible he was. He just repeated things that Loki already knew. Loki just wanted Frigga but, even if he had given him back and allowed his torture to continue, he wanted Thor more.</p><p> </p><p>Loki just took it when Ketill started to hit and kick him. It wasn’t Ketill’s preferred method, but he assumed that he was venting anger. Loki barely whimpered and cried, just allowing tears to free flow. <em> I deserve this </em>, Loki thought.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t until Ketill tore his clothes off, leaving Loki naked, and pushing his own pants down that Loki started to panic. He’d been tortured in numerous ways, but never <em> this </em>. Never. He didn’t have the energy to struggle though, so he was just going to take it.</p><p> </p><p>“Loki?” He heard his name, but it wasn’t Ketill saying it. He recognised the voice, but it sounded too far away. He couldn’t place it. The voice repeated his name again, and Ketill seemed to disappear. </p><p> </p><p>“Baby…? Baby brother?” <em> Thor </em>, Loki’s brain supplied.</p><p> </p><p>Loki hadn’t known his eyes were closed until he opened them, staring up at Thor’s blue ones. His brain was struggling to keep up with what was happening when he suddenly realised it had been a nightmare. Loki noticed that he was crying and he didn’t know if it had started before or after he woke up.</p><p> </p><p>He reached a hand up to tangle his fingers in Thor’s beard, a shy smile on his face. Thor smiled back, eyes glassy. Loki almost forgot why Thor was leaning over him.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you call me ‘baby?’”</p><p> </p><p>“You were crying and talking. I tried your name over and over. You didn’t hear me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I heard you. I didn’t know it was a dream.” Thor nodded, laying back beside him and leaned his head on Loki’s chest. Loki cradled Thor’s head and pressed his cheek against it.</p><p> </p><p>“You were begging me not to hurt you. You kept saying ‘no’ and ‘don’t’ and ‘please.’ You apologised and it broke my heart. I tried so hard to wake you up, baby brother.” It was Loki’s turn to comfort Thor, not fully remembering the content of the nightmare yet.</p><p> </p><p>“Not you, dear brother. It was Ketill,” Thor moved off of Loki, laying on the pillow next to him, “I was back in my cell. I thought you had had me removed while I slept. Ketill was there, telling me that I’m not a prince. You’d never keep me outside of my cell. He called me your pet and a runt. He threatened to return me to Jötunheimr, that they’d kill me there, unless I let him do whatever he said. He was going to rape me. That’s when you woke me up.” Loki was laying on his side facing Thor, but he couldn’t meet his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Did he ever… Did any of them ever…?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, Thor, but I was going to let him. I kept telling myself I deserved what he was doing or that it would hurt less if I just let him.” Thor pressed a kiss to Loki’s forehead and then his nose, making Loki scrunch up his face and smile.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t deserve anything that happened to you. You definitely don’t deserve to be raped, Loki. No one in any of the nine realms or beyond it deserves to be violated by such a terrible and cruel act. Do you understand me?” Loki nodded, though it was hard with one of Thor’s hands holding his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>“I… I love… I love you.” Loki didn’t know why he struggled so much to say it. It wasn’t the first time he’d said it, not even close. It wasn’t even the first time he’d said it in the last twenty four hours.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you, my prince.” Thor nudged their noses together, closing his eyes. Loki closed his too, in an attempt to ignore his less-than-brotherly feelings for Thor, who, unbeknownst to Loki, was struggling with the same problem. Loki knew that he’d hardly have to shift forward to press his lips to Thor’s, but at what cost? So his nightmare could become reality?</p><p> </p><p>Thor, on the other hand, didn’t want to kiss Loki out of fear that he’d detach and lose all the progress he’d made of becoming his old self. Loki seemed happy for the most part and Thor didn’t want to compromise that. Not at the cost of Loki’s wellbeing.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe that’s why neither of them and yet both of them moved forward. Their lips were barely touching; they were simply breathing in each other’s breath. Loki didn’t know if that’s why he suddenly felt light headed or if it was because the only person he’d ever had a romantic, or even sexual, interest in was kissing him.</p><p> </p><p>Loki thinks it was Thor that finally pressed their lips firmly together. <em> It’s just a peck </em> , Loki thought, <em> he doesn’t want you like that </em>. Loki could only tell himself that for a second, however, because Thor’s tongue was sliding along his bottom lip. He opened his mouth obediently, waiting patiently for Thor to guide him. Thor shifted so that he was leaning over Loki, who put his fingers in Thor’s beard again. He felt Thor smile when he did.</p><p> </p><p>“I think you like my beard more than I do.” Loki blushed, barely pulling on Thor to get him to kiss him again. The kisses weren’t really anything other than slow and loving, but they were exactly what Loki needed. </p><p> </p><p>“I… I’ve never done anything before. I’ve never even kissed anyone,” Loki finally mumbled, knowing Thor can hear it because of their close proximity.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, well, we don’t have to do this. Do you want to stop?” Loki shook his head before the words left Thor’s mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, don’t stop,” Loki said breathlessly. It almost sounded pathetic. Thor smiled and kissed him again, a little harder this time. Loki wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck.</p><p> </p><p>Thor’s elbows were on either side of Loki’s head, holding himself up so that he wasn’t crushing Loki’s still-weakened body. Loki could feel Thor’s hands move through his hair, though. Loki moved so that he was completely under Thor, wanting to feel the weight and security of him over his own smaller stature.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you do that for, baby?” The pet name was a slip, Loki knew that, but it made him shiver nonetheless.</p><p> </p><p>“I feel protected under you.” Thor shook his head but was smiling.</p><p> </p><p>“I told you I’d protect you no matter what. If something makes you feel more secure, just tell me, hm?” Loki nodded but pulled Thor closer.</p><p> </p><p>“Can you just kiss me again, you oaf?”</p><p> </p><p>“Only a few more, Loki. It’s still late and you need to sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine.”</p><p> </p><p>Thor pressed their lips together, quickly sliding his tongue into Loki’s mouth, who moaned high in his throat. Thor hummed his approval, moving one hand to rest against the side of Loki’s neck. Thor pulled away, looking into Loki’s green eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I kiss your neck or is that too much for right now?” The amount of caring and compassion on Thor’s face made Loki want to cry. No one had never looked at him this way.</p><p> </p><p>“Please,” Loki whimpers. Thor just beams and leans down to press chaste kisses along Loki’s pale neck. He doesn’t bite or suck, doesn’t leave any marks behind other than the red scratching marks of his beard. Still, the sensation of Thor’s lips and beard scraping along his neck is enough to make Loki whine. It’s embarrassing, really, what Thor can do to him, especially without actually doing anything.</p><p> </p><p>Thor is kissing along Loki’s collarbone and the junction of his neck and shoulders, then trying to pull away. Loki pouts, pulling him down yet again. Thor shakes his head, though.</p><p> </p><p>“You need to sleep, Loki.”</p><p> </p><p>“What I <em> need </em>is for you to bite me.” Thor shakes his head again.</p><p> </p><p>“No, babe. I’m not leaving any marks on you until the old ones fade.” Loki pouts more and rolls over to face away from Thor.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine.” He knows his brother will give in, one way or another.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be a brat,” Thor says as he lays down behind Loki, rubbing his hand down Loki’s side. He kissed Loki’s neck again though, then nudged the back of Loki’s head.</p><p> </p><p>“If you gave me what I asked for, I wouldn’t be a brat.” Loki can almost feel Thor roll his eyes at that.</p><p> </p><p>“That would just make you a spoiled brat. Now, go to sleep.” Loki finally concedes and rolls over to nuzzle his face into Thor’s neck, the way they always sleep now.</p>
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